Blessed are those that mourn...

We spent this last weekend with family celebrating the life of my Grandpa Fred and saying goodbye. Darian got home from a week in St. Louis just before noon on Friday just in time for Melana to have a relapse with the vomiting from last week. Oh joy. My sister in law Sheryl was here watching her while I ran out to pick up dry cleaning and she found Melana in a puddle of vomit just after waking up from her nap. Darian got home just after that and called me in a panic. "Where are you?" I was in our neighborhood so within a few minutes we had the mess cleaned up and I was snuggling our sweet girl. Thank goodness Sheryl was here because apparently only those of the female sex are qualified to clean up vomit. Wow. Menstration AND puke cleaning, aren't we lucky? Haha.
We hurried the luggage to the van and sped up to Kalamazoo to make it to the funeral home for visiting hours. I don't normally give many compliments to funeral homes, I don't know, just seems weird, but this one was awesome. They were so caring and gracious in their hospitality. They even have a therapy dog!! She is an amazing golden retriever named Holly who was trained as a therapy and, boy, did she ever do a good job. When my step-grandma was having a hard time, the dog was at her side. When we said our final goodbyes that night, she was right beside us all. Amazing! The funeral home also made the viewing a true celebration of life. We were able to bring pictures to post on poster boards and they made a wonderful DVD of pics and grandpa's life story. They set out an appetizing buffet for the family and visitors. There was free wine and beer, soft drinks, coffee and sweet tea. All very classy with the intention of lightening the mood and promoting story telling and reminiscing instead of the usual hushed tones of mourning. The family was very pleased and we all knew it was just like Grandpa would have liked. Wonderful.
That night Melana was four times through out the night. Unfortunately, Darian was also sick, so it was my turn to be up with her all night. We determined it must have been her tummy because she was fine as long as I held her with her tummy on my arm. I sat in a chair for four hours that night holding her in that position so she would sleep. Needless to say I slept very little that night.
The next morning we dropped Melana off with our niece, Emilee and headed to the church for Grandpa's funeral. It was a solemn Catholic service, but filled with memories and a wonderful eulogy given by my cousin Christy. Each grandchild had a part in the service. I presented "the gifts" for the communion, my sister read scripture and Darian even had a part and was a pallbearer with some of my other cousins and cousins-in-law (there are alot of girl grandkids) . :)
I thought I was ok until the end of my cousin's eulogy and then I kind of lost it. I usually can keep my emotions under control and then will sometimes fall apart after the fact, but something came over me and I almost had to leave. I think it was more the pain of seeing my dad and my aunts and uncles and cousins in tears than anything else, but it all caught up with me. Luckily the priest was near the end and then asked everyone to turn to the person next to them and give them the sign of peace. ?? My Catholic cousin quickly filled me in. You are supposed to turn and shake hands and say "Peace be with you". I was confused and tried to give her the peace sign. Just kidding! It did cross my mind though. All in all, he was honored and remembered well and his life celebrated. He was loved and will be missed.
After the funeral we headed to the cemetery where my grandpa will be buried next to my grandma. There was no graveside service (he is being cremated first), but my step-grandmother wanted to see where he would be buried. (She is from KY and FL and will be buried next to her first husband) I was glad to see it because I've tried several times to find my grandma's gravesite with no success. I picked a yellow rose out of one of the floral arrangements from Grandpa's funeral and my sister and cousins did likewise and we laid it on grandma's grave. It was good to finally see the headstone. Morbid? or Sentimental? I'm not sure either.
We spent the rest of the afternoon with our family and my step-grandmother's family, hanging out at my Uncle Rick and Aunt Maureen's house. It was overall a good day, funeral aside.

Melana was fussy and up again that night, but my parents volunteered to get her some gas drops and soon she was feeling better. I think I may have overcompensated for her diarrhea from the week before by feeding her too much rice cereal and bananas. Ugh, Momma fail. She was still up a lot that night (for her) and we were exhausted Sunday morning. Grandma and Aunt Michele volunteered to baby sit/entertain Melana and Darian and I were able to get another four hours sleep. He woke up feeling much better from his bug and I was able to think clearer. Yay for sleep! Since then she has been sleeping just fine and back to eating well. Gas drops are awesome! We enjoyed the rest of the day visiting with my parents and my sister Michele, who was in from Texas. Melana got spoiled as usual. But she's so cute, how can you not?!
Melana with Auntie Shell

Melana is Three Months Old!!

Oh what a week this has been!!
For starters we still have not found a permanent baby sitter for Melana which leaves me still frustrated and teetering on the brink insanity. Argh!! Secondly, Melana turned three months old and has started teething. Good times in the Miller household....
On the 24th, Melana turned three months! It seems like time has flown by. I can't believe my baby is growing so fast. She gets bigger every day it seems and her long little body is filling out and her little face is getting rounder with chubbier cheeks. She is so stinkin' cute! :) She is going to roll over any day now. Every day I put her on her tummy for tummy play time and she rolls over about 3/4 of the way. I stopped putting her on her tummy during the day 'cause I was afraid she would roll over and Darian would miss it. So now, when he comes home, we put her on her tummy and watch, video camera on. If she could just get that one leg over.....

She had a busy weekend too. On Friday night we drove to my parents' house and stayed so Darian could get up early to go work for his dad again. She spent all day Saturday with Grandma and Grandpa while I caught up on some much needed sleep. (sleep is always much needed to a night shift worker). She gets so tickled when people talk to her, especially granny and grandpa, who enjoy it as much or more than she does. She laughed so much and was really cooing and talking up a storm. We couldn't believe how much she was trying to talk to us! She also had fun jumping up and down on Grandma's lap. Granny thinks she is ready for her Johnny Jump up. I'm not sure she is old enough, but we are planning to get her an exersaucer this week and we'll see how she does with that. On Saturday night we bundled her up and took her the fair again. She was so cute in her hat and in all her blankets.

She hadn't napped well throughout the day and once in the stroller she slept for nearly four hours straight. I was worried that she wouldn't sleep last night because she had slept so long and hadn't been eating much yesterday but the little doll still slept all night. She woke us up this morning with two sneezes followed by a loud burst of gas and a giggle. She cracks us up. While at the fair, we ran into Darian's cousin Abby and her family. I was telling Abby how Melana's feedings and naps had been off for the last couple days and how she was really sucking on her fingers and how my mom thought maybe she was teething. Just then Melana started crying and Abby looked down and pointed out two little buds inside Melana's mouth. Sure enough, there they were. Two little white bumps trying to push their way through the gums. My poor baby! Here she's been teething and I had no idea. No wonder she's been acting funny. At least she's still been in a good mood.... Well, that was until today. We drove home this morning from MI and headed to Darian's Aunt Martha's house in Hicksville, OH this afternoon for a visit. Darian's second cousin Nick, wife Jen and their boys Christian and Caleb joined us for pizza and a fun visit. Well, it was fun in between Melana's screaming fits followed by twenty minute naps followed by more screaming. Wow, that girl can scream! I felt so bad. It was the first time for them all to see her and here she was acting totally opposite of her usually sweet self. I've put teething rings in the fridge for tomorrow and broken out the Oragel. Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day.

On a happier note, we are loving this fall weather! Open house windows, golden colors of the fields against the periwinkle sky and the crisp air. I don't know what it is about fall that makes me want to bake, but I'm planning a trip this week sometime to an orchard just north of here. I got a great Apple Cream Pie recipe from Darian's Aunt Martha tonight that I just cannot wait to try out. And of course, I have to make my favorite, Apple Crisp. I also want to get some applesauce made and canned and maybe some pear sauce as well. I'm looking forward to picking up some pumpkins for the front porch and maybe a few materials to make a new harvest wreath. Here's a pic of a pie I made earlier this week. It's a Chicken pot pie! It was awesome. Not as good as Apple Cream, but so good just the same. My secret? Why, Pillsbury Pie Crust of course!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

We've been so busy with me being back to work and desperately searching for a sitter etc., that I haven't even had time to update the events of last few weeks. It may not be of interest to any of my readers, but I'm using this blog of sort of a journal of Melana's developement. I'm hoping I can print it later for her to read and keep.

She is actually 11 weeks now as of yesterday. She is getting so big! I swear she changes everyday. At ten weeks, she had found her hands. She was putting her fists in front of her face and just staring with wide eyes at them. I imagined her thinking "what are these? and where did they come from?" And you could see her trying to intentionally move them but she's not quite coordinated enough to flex her elbow and move her arm at the same time, at least not when she's trying to concentrate. It's funny. Her whole arm just waves around in the arm and then her eyes fly wide open and she gets startled all over again. She cracks us up. She is so much fun to just sit and watch. She has also been drooling a lot. I don't know why or what that means, but I'm just praying it doesn't mean teething already. Poor thing already has chapped cheeks from the drool. She is also "talking" more. She coos and make "ahh" and "aye" noises that I swear is her saying "hi". Darian thinks I'm crazy. :) She is still all smiles in the morning and when you talk to her, but now she has started actually laughing. Not every time she tries, often it's a silent mouth open wide laugh, but she is trying so hard. It makes us laugh every time and I think she likes the response she gets. :) Her smiles always start on one side of her face and then it's like that side of her face pulls the rest of her face and head with it and she turns to that side until the other side catches up and she just grins wide. I call it the "drunken sailor smile". Too cute.



She is almost completely in 3 month clothing now, mostly because her legs are sooo long. She is one tall girl. She doesn't want to snuggle as much either, but wants to look out at the world. Instead of snuggling on my shoulder now she likes to sit on my lap and look out and watch the dogs, out the window or at the TV. She's like her mama. :) She is addicted to her Baby Mozart DVD. We only play it maybe once a day, but she is glued to it the entire time and kicks her little legs in excitement. She even knows when she is at the end. She starts fussing right before the credits roll. We also enjoy reading time and we especially enjoy Dr. Suess' "Mr Brown Can Moo Can You?" and "Goodnight Moon".



She's so fun. Oh the changes and joy of a growing baby. We're loving every minute of it, but both agree it's going by way too fast!!!

She's SO beautiful!

In sitter news, we finally got some leads and were actually going to meet with a lady today that a fellow nurse recommended. She had used this lady for her kids and so had one of the docs that I work with. Unfortunately, I got called in at 3 am this morning and worked on call till 4 pm so we had to cancel. Hoping to reschedule for later this week. I still don't like the idea of leaving her with someone, but it's only two days a week while I sleep, so I guess it could be worse. Our niece, Emilee, was here for two days watching her last week and this week one of Darian's co-workers' wife watched her yesterday and my mother in law came down last night and stayed to watch her while I slept today. I'm so thankful for the help and so glad she got some good grandma time.

Melana is Nine Weeks!!

I'm a little late in posting, so Melana is nine weeks and two days, but we snapped some cute pics this morning that I thought I'd share. Right now she is doing one of her favorite activities and that is swinging in her swing watching the fishies on her mobile. So cute. Every day she smiles more and more. She now likes to lay on the floor under her floor gym and play. She lays under there and kicks every time she hits the little octopus mirror and sea horse rattle. For some reason many of our baby items seem to be ocean/fish related. :)
I bought her Baby Einstein's Baby Mozart video and put her in her bouncy seat in front of the TV. That's right, I'm that awesome of a parent. :) I didn't know if she would be interested or even if she would be able to see it as the recommended age is 3+ months, but I got it anyway and and she LOVES it! She kicks and waves her little arms around and smiles and coos. Her big blue eyes got even bigger and she was staring at the TV. When the music hits a crescendo she gets really excited. We had a blast just watching her.



This past week has been great, sleep wise. She has been going to bed around 8:30-9:30pm and sleeping until 5am when Darian gets up for work. He feeds her before leaving then she usually goes back to sleep until 8-9am. It's awesome!! She has been a little fussy the last 3-4 days though, and seems to want to be held and snuggled. She's also been a little red around the eyes, so I was wondering if she was getting sick, but today she seems better. Her naps during the day seem to be getting shorter, except for her late afternoon one, but I don't mind since she is sleeping so great at night. She goes for her 2 month check up on Monday but when I was at work the other day for a meeting I took her with me so and weighed her on the baby scale. She was 11 lbs. 11 oz. and 24 inches long. Yep, she's a porky!! I'm still doing some research on which vaccines we do and don't want her to get. I'm hoping the doctor will respect our wishes and not give me too much trouble and the whole lecture that I'm sure she has stored away for such fanatics like ourselves. LOL.
In other news, I was supposed to start back to work this week, but was canceled both nights so I was able to get a little more snuggle time with my sweet Melana. Yesterday was my birthday but we didn't do anything special. After 30 does it really matter? lol I spent the day cleaning and cooking as it was our turn to host our Bible study group last night. It was fun to hang out with our great friends and their families.
We also had a court date this week in regards to the adoption. Everything went well, Melana's biological parents terminated their parental rights. So now we are just waiting on more paperwork to go between the two states and hopefully they will set another court date soon to make the adoption final. I'm hoping by Christmas or at least by New Years. I can't wait till she is fully and legally ours, but a nice tax exemption would be nice as well. LOL Just kidding we are just excited to make her "official".
We are also getting excited to hear the news of our new niece who is expected to make her arrival this week. My brother Jason and his wife, Rachael are having their third girl by c-section on Thursday. She will be joining our other two beautiful and sweet nieces, Jordyn, 7 and Jenna, 3. Wish we could be in Texas to greet her, but are still excited to hear the news.
I snapped a couple of pics of Melana to mark her two months. The first one is with a teddy bear that my dad bought her at the hospital when she was born. We had professional pics taken of her at 12 days old and have one of her and the teddy. The photographer suggested that we should take a pic of her and the teddy every month till she is a year just to see how big she is getting compared to the bear. It's an awesome concept, but I forgot to do it at her first month so I hope to starting now. ( if I remember)

I can't believe how big her grin is!

I like this one too and I'm going to try to keep up with the monthly pics. Can I also just say I LOVE this blanket? Thanks to Darian's Aunt Alma and Angie and Carla!

PS- I just wanted to give an update on the homemade cleaning solutions. I was able to make some dusting solution out of 1 cup of water and 1 TBS of fabric softner. I mixed it in a spray bottle and used it yesterday and it worked great!! Plus, my house smelled like lavender. I have to say it really left the surfaces shiny and clean looking and not at all greasy. I'm a fan.

Family and Feminists

We just got home from a busy weekend spent with our family in Plain City, Ohio. My mother-in-law is one of ten children and all but one live in Ohio. She decided to throw us a baby shower/meet Melana party for our family there. Darian, Wilma (my mom in law), Melana and I headed to Plain City on Friday night. We arrived late and stayed with Aunt Alma and Uncle Sherm. Thanks guys! Early Saturday we headed to Aunt Susan and Uncle Jim's house and were treated like royalty to a scrumptious breakfast with Susan, Jim, Alma and cousin Andreas. Then we headed over to a cabin that Wilma had rented for us to stay at and to host the baby shower. The place was way back in the woods and was a beautiful setting for our family get together. Darian's sister Sheryl and our niece Emilee and his brother Loren and his wife Trudy and their kids Taylor and Robbie arrived to share the cabin with us. A few hours later, aunts, uncles, cousins and second cousins started to arrive to meet Melana and share a great night of visiting, food and gift giving.
Darian and I were so excited just to see the family and catch up with everyone so the wonderful gifts they brought for Melana was just icing on the cake. We are so blessed to have such a large and wonderful family. We had a little over 70 people there to celebrate. Two of those people are just shy of two weeks younger than Melana, and were born to Darian's cousin Rod and wife Liz.

Here is a pic of Melana between twins Iain and Brendan. So cute!!!

and here Melana is showing off her self defense moves, apparently. Too funny.


We got home this evening and went right to work putting things away and getting our house in order. I hate to start the week with a messy house! Besides, we are also interviewing a nanny/housekeeper tomorrow so I really want to impress her with my mad cleaning skills. Ha! Just kidding. I am a bit nervous about this interview though as I've never interviewed help before and I want to be sure that Melana is left in the best of care. I'm supposed to be returning to work on Wednesday night and am already having anxiety about it. I don't want to leave her!! No one can care and love her like her mama, I'm sure, and I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. :( I really resent the feminist movement right now. They didn't do us any favors by demanding a equal place in the work place. What was wrong with staying home? If their fight was truly about women's rights and choice why don't I have a choice right now? Maybe someday. Can't I just be a 1950s stay at home wife living with modern conveniences? Picture Doris Day in a minivan. Sweet!

Melana is Eight Weeks!!

First things first, I want to wish my brother, Jason, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY today! Love you!

My sweet doll is eight weeks old today. She is developing more and more of a steady schedule and showing bits of her personality. She is definitely a morning girl and is quick to smile when you get her out of her crib, well as long as you have her bottle on hand, that is. :)
She is now smiling, cooing, and waving her little fists around trying to touch her toys and the dogs and my face. She loves to lay on her blankie on the ottoman and play with her favorite toys.

Yesterday Junie was standing over the ottoman trying to get my attention (of course) and Melana reached up and grabbed a chunk of Junie's fur and wouldn't let go. She just kept looking up at June with wide eyes and then started smiling. Her little grip is too weak and small for June to notice, but she was loving it and we thought it was hilarious.
We try to introduce different fabrics and textures to her and different sounds and sights. We are trying to stimulate and encourage the developmental skills that are expected of a baby her age and more. I never thought about this part of parenting when I was growing up. Then I became a nanny of twin boys when I was in college. Their mother was a psychologist and we did a lot of purposeful and developmental play. I learned so much from her. (Thanks Sue!) Since then I've been determined to be that kind of parent. Not pushing my babies/kids beyond their years or never allowing fun, but parenting them with the purpose of helping them to reach their highest potential.

In other news. Well, there really isn't any other news. It's been a pretty boring week here. Darian was out of town on Wednesday and Thursday for a farm show in Illinois. Melana and I hung out with the puppies and did really not much of anything. Tomorrow is pay day though, so look out. LOL. Gas, groceries and diaper shopping are on the oh so exciting list. :) And speaking of diapers, Melana finally fits her cute cloth ones from Fuzzi Bunz . They are a bit bulkier than the disposable but she seems comfortable. We will still use disposable when traveling etc., but are trying to stay a little green and save money by using these cute cloths. And now speaking of traveling, we are excited to be going to visit Darian's mother's family in Plain City, Ohio for the weekend. My oh so sweet Mother in law is throwing a baby shower for us out there and we can't wait to visit with and introduce Melana to the Hostetler family. Love them!!

Here a couple pics of Junie and Melana getting close during floor play time. I'm still picking dog hair off Melana's shirt. LOL

Texas Wedding

Last weekend we went to Austin, Texas for my sister Michele's wedding. We left Friday morning early to drive to Midway airport in Chicago accompanied by my dad, my niece Emilee aka "the nanny", and our friends Tracey and Courtney along with Tracey's two nieces. Melana did awesome and slept the whole flights there and back. Amazing baby! When we landed we were greeted by my sister Michele aka "the bride" and my mom who had flown down the week before. It was Melana's first time meeting her Aunt Michele.















We quickly headed for the hotel to change and then to the rehearsal at the wedding site. This place is AMAZING!! It was so beautiful and a great setting for a wedding.








We then hurried to the rehearsal dinner at a country club with an amazing view. We had a great dinner, were able to catch up a little with Michele and her fiance Paul and meet his family and then were treated to the best cupcakes I've ever had made by a friend. They were Red Velvet Chocolate Chip cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting. Honestly, my diet has been blown and the workouts lacking since Melana was born, but that night I really didn't care. I'm pretty sure those little cupcakes are what heaven is made of. :) But I digress....

After the rehearsal dinner we all headed back to the hotel to change for our girl's night out for Michele's bachelorette party at a place called Rebels in downtown Austin. Michele, Tracey, Courtney and I were joined by our cousin Christy, another bridesmaid and Michele's old friends Jill and Stephanie who traveled from AZ and South Bend for the wedding. The dress was western, the music was country and the bull was bucking. That's right I said bull. I wanted to ride the mechanical bull so bad but Darian and my mom made me promise that I wouldn't ride. What?! It's not like I'm accident prone or anything.... Tracey and Michele braved the bull though and we all had a good time watching them and cheering them on. We also checked out the insane night life down on Austin's 6th St. Crazy!




Saturday we all slept in and then headed to a big western wear store while my parents and Michele had lunch with Paul and his parents. I finally found the cowboy boots I've been wanting at Cavender's. http://www.cavenders.com/ Yeehaw! Just wished I would've had those the night before. We headed back to the hotel when we heard that my brother Jason and his two girls Jordyn, 7 and Jenna, 3 had arrived from their home NW of Austin. It was so good to see them!! Later that night we joined other family and friends from out of town for a great BBQ dinner at the famous Saltlick. http://www.saltlickbbq.com/ It was a great time and great dinner had by all and we almost had to be rolled out of there by the staff.



Sunday morning dawned and we headed to the ranch right away to help with some setup and then to the Spa for hair and makeup. Then back to the ranch to ready for the big moment.
The old church was decorated with burlap pew covers with sepia colored pics of Paul, Michele or both on them. An old rustic wooden cross was fastened over the alter and the initial "P" and "M" were fastened out of twigs and hung on the front door of the chapel.




The candles were glowing in the reception hall with beautiful flowers on the tables and personalized booklets at each seat telling Michele and Paul's story and explaining how family and Taiwanese traditions had been incorporated into the wedding.





Instead of cake, we dined on an amazing ice cream sundae bar and instead of alcohol we sipped Izze sparkling sodas with our toasts. Which there were many of. It was all beautiful and personal. Later, we slipped into our cowboy boots and boot scooted boogie on the porch of the reception hall followed by a rousing rendition of "Strawberry Wine" sung by Courtney and I to Michele. Years ago us three girls had recorded that song in a karaoke booth at Cedar Point. They gave a copy of the recording and it brought years of laughter and tears as we'd listen to how bad it was. Good times... Michele and Tracey quickly joined us in our embarrassing show of love for Michele.



After a fun filled day and night the newlyweds departed, by the light of sparklers and glow sticks, into the Texas night in a 1972 Texas orange Chevelle that Michele had booked as a surprise to Paul.



They are a beautiful couple and I wish them the best of God's blessings. Love you guys!!
Here are a few favorite pics from the weekend.

Darian, Melana and I at rehearsal dinner


Darian, Melana and my nieces Jordyn and Jenna


Michele, Courtney, Christy and I


My Family

Tiny Fingers Hold My Heart

Last night as I was feeding Melana I happened to look down and find her just staring at my face. Her big blue eyes were so clear and bright. I grabbed her hand and she instantly wrapped her tiny fingers around my finger all the while never taking her eyes off me.
It hit me then that this little precious cutie is relying on me for life. Feedings, diaper changes, burping etc. Those are the things I can do. This is the easy part. What scares me is the whole process of molding her mind, teaching her right from wrong, turning her into a productive, responsible, and caring citizen of society and more importantly a Godly woman of God.
That is what terrifies me. We've never done that before. We don't know what we're doing. Where do we start? Yikes! I could so easily get overwhelmed right now. But then I realize that this is where it starts. It starts by taking her hand...