Saturday, August 28, 2010

I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

Today was a long, boring day. Darian was working up in MI and didn't get home till after 6pm. As soon as he was showered, I handed Melana over to him for her feeding and headed up to take my own shower. I don't think I've had a shower, where I wasn't listening for her cry or fussing, since she's been born. It was good to just soak in the hot water and relax. Afterwards I headed downstairs to see what Darian had planned for the evening. We're short on funds right now so I knew we couldn't "go out", but I thought maybe he would've thought up something creative, especially since my birthday was yesterday. No such luck. So we discussed it and decided to go to Barnes and Noble for a bit and then walk around the outdoor mall where B&N is located and maybe even splurge on some ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. BUT..... Then we looked at the clock. Oops! It was already almost 8pm and that meant that Little Miss Cutie Pie was going to be eating again soon and going to bed. Big reality check! LOL. So our big, er, not so big weekend plans became even smaller and ended up being leftovers and an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon. Ah, good times.

Life wasn't all that exciting before Melana and it's gotten so much better since then, that I wouldn't trade it for everything, however, it would've been nice to get out of the house. Ah well.
I think I'm just ready for some adult interaction. Unfortunately, even before Melana was born my social life consisted of co-workers and our Bible study group who only meets every two weeks. Other than that, I don't ever see or talk to anyone except my mother, of course. I'm not a huge social bug and it's always been hard for me to make friends because I can be so shy. I know, totally unbelievable you say! But it's true. I hate crowds, I don't like new people and I have a pretty good case of social anxiety. Also, where do you find friends as an adult? It's not like when you're babies and your parents choose them for you, or when you're a kid and they are your schoolmates. It's a lot harder as an adult. My only close friends are those from my childhood or from high school or as in the case of my friend Kristie, from our jobs right after high school. Now one lives in Michigan, one lives in China, and one lives in Philly. Not very convenient when you need a shoulder to cry, a place to hang out or someone to bounce ideas off of. Sigh. I miss these girls. I feel at home with them. I'm comfortable, I can be myself and share my ideas and views without fear of judgment. Besides, I know they like me as well. I think. Well, they must if they've been my friends for this long! :) How I long to have them all living around me (or in the same country at least!). How I wish I could drive over to see them and pour myself a glass of iced tea and settle in for a nice long chat about old times or sit around doing crafts and scheming up new ideas. I guess maybe this is what they call growing up? If it is, I gotta say I'm not a fan.

No comments:

Post a Comment