Today I was able to have lunch with my friend Gina at Carlos O'Kelley's. Gina and I work together and I miss seeing her a couple times a week. I've enjoyed my time off with my sweet Melana and am not looking forward to going back to work, but being off has made me realize, more than ever, how lonely I really am. Since my best friend, Kristie, moved away, I have yet to find a very close friend. You know, the kind who just stops over for a cup of coffee or whatever at anytime and helps themselves 'cause they know you don't mind. Or the one who you know you can call anytime to cry or laugh with. I still do that with Kristie, but it's not the same when I can't just run over to her house with chocolate and we can drown our sorrows together. It may be healthier on the waist line, but not on the heart.
I'm very glad we left MI and settled in Fort Wayne, but sometimes I crave the more familiar. I miss the fact that friends could stop in any minute or call you up to go garage saleing or for ice cream. I miss the feeling of having a past with someone. Someone who knows you and your family and with whom you can share memories of years past. Someone who knew me before I was Mrs. Miller.
Most of the people who I am closest to here in town are coworkers and that's because that's the only people I spend most of my time with outside of Darian. I also have good friends in our Bible study group, but most have families of their own and are busy so I hate to bother them. I love my co workers and church friends and enjoy my time with them, but I know they have lives of their own and don't want me stalking them all the time.
So how do you ask someone to be your friend? How do you find a friend? I'm not an overly outgoing person, at least not until I get to know someone. I also suffer from a pretty moderate case of social anxiety, so I'm not likely to walk up to someone and ask them to hang out with me. I guess I need to find a place to make friends. But how? Maybe I need to find an adoption group or a craft group or a mommy and me group or a I-miss-my-bff-who-moved-away group. Maybe the yellow pages.....